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Monday, November 5, 2012

5 weeks

I'm now 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant.  My morning sickness has been steady, but it's nothing like what I had with Bunny.  I think this is particularly due to diet, and also because I'm more active and responsible now with a child to take care of and a house to upkeep.  I'm sure it helps too that I only work part time and that I'm in a job I absolutely love.

With so much less morning sickness, I anticipate being able to hide this until my first appointment with my midwife on December 13 (@11 weeks) or until I start to show.

A rundown of my symptoms so far:
Frequent urination
Morning sickness
Tender boobs
A tiny bit of blood in nose
I have a super sniffer again
I'm tougher with my students--less tolerant of poor behavior than normal
I'm a bit more irritable
Low aches in uterus area
Food aversions (no real cravings yet)
I'm often cold--which is weird for me since I'm never cold.

I just can't wait to see this heartbeat.  I feel secure about the pregnancy in one sense because it's SO CLEAR how God orchestrated it.  From eating Paleo to starting vitamins the month before, to the inexplicable way God caused Dave to keep our medishare in case I were to get pregnant in the 6 months that he's uninsured by his new job, I feel that God wants this pregnancy--this baby.  But I also worry about miscarriage and I know that God might choose to bring this baby up to heaven rather than to leave him down here with us.  Believe it or not though, I'm okay with that.  I mean, I want this child desperately, but I've come to recognize the soverignty and wisdom of God and to accept that His ways are best no matter what.  That said, though, I'm having difficulty grasping this child as something concrete and bonding with him like a little person without getting to hear the heartbeat.  (I was certainly bonding with Bunny by this point in the pregnancy).  I wish I could find a way to hear it earlier, but I have to be patient--which isn't my strength at all!

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