A Letter to my Daughter

Dear Precious One,

You're beautiful laying there with your hair tossed haphazardly over your lily skin.  Your thick eyelashes brush your cheeks right over the place where God must have come in the night to kiss you, because the smallest hint of glitter rests there as if still reflecting the glory of His love for you.  Your tiny arm--so big compared to what it once was, yet still so small and vulnerable--rests beneath your face and it's all I can do to stop myself from fingering the length of it from your shoulder to your elbow. I don't want to wake you.  Not yet.  There will be a time for an awakening but you needn't experience it yet.

Soon, you will have to rise and face the world.  You will find joy and magic as you always do, and you will find disappointment and heartbreaks too.  Your heart is so tender that to my sorrow it finds the latter easily.  In your little soul the heartbreaks and joys are inseparable because the one follows the other.  The joy of a visit with friends followed by the heartbreak of leaving.  The joy of an hour of play followed by the heartbreak of a nap.  The joy of a special moment with your brother followed by the heartbreak of needing a time out because you are still learning the boundaries necessary to keep him (and you) safe.

This cycle is part of life, dear Sleeping Beauty.  Joy and sorrow intertwine.  They have since sin began and will continue until we're lifted into the Celestial City by our Savior.  But He can carry your sorrows, dear one.  He came for that.  To bear them for you.  To make this difficult walk easier.  Because it only gets more difficult as you grow and innocence is lost little by little.  I want you to keep your innocence, your unscarred beauty, your expectation of only joy and never sorrow--but could you grow if that happened?  Could you become who God intends you to be?  Could you flourish and make a difference in a world filled with sorrow?

You can't stop the pain.  Or the sorrow.  They are an inextricable part of life.  But you can take them to Jesus, dear one, and let Him bring you joy.  Then carry that joy into the world.  I'm learning to do so as well.  I do it so poorly but I'm trying.  Your Daddy is so good at it.  He is better at it than I am.  And your brother--he knows not much of sorrow yet and so he is mostly joy spilling out in rays of sunshine and giggles.  You and he both spill the sunshine like you'd burst if you kept it bottled inside.  Keep carrying the joy in your heart.  And love.  And peace.  Treasure it.  Share it.  Never lose it.  Give God the sorrow.  Let Him carry the burden of the world as He shows you how to share the joy with others.

But for now, just sleep.  In peace.  With the gentle kiss of God on your cheekbone.  He loves you so.  You'll awaken when it's time.  

13 Months Old

The "official" photo is taken late because we were away starting on his 13 month lunar-versary but oh well.  At least we have a whole month to get to it this time.  Last year we took his monthly picture while we were away at our 10-day camp week, but this year we forgot paper and a sharpie which surprisingly made it much more difficult!  He was grumpy when we finally got around to taking the photo but I decided to go with it anyway because it just represents real life.  Babies aren't happy all the time, though we all wish they could be.  :-)

He is experimenting with standing up on his own as of 7/8.  He did that all month.

He likes to sing along with music.  He opens his mouth and says "Aaaah" very loudly and earnestly.    He also likes to dance with it.  His dances start at the waist and end at the shoulders--usually while sitting down.

He is very spatially aware.  He will perch on the edge of his desk, for instance, move around up there, and not fall down.  Not that he doesn't fall down but he falls much less than you expect him to.

He started saying "Mama" more as of 7/9. Over the course of the month he started saying it a lot--and actually saying just plain, old "Mom" too.  He says it when he's referring to me, especially when he's feeling needy.

 He figured out how to blow bubbles with his spit.  It was so cute watching him do it over and over saying "Mah" as he played.

We thought he had a uti.  He had a fever and then blood in his diaper (which was actually from a really bad rash caused by not changing his diaper frequently enough during the crazy running around of our friend's wedding weekend.  (I was in the wedding and Dave participated in it and it was really hectic.  I could kick myself for that! My babies both have such sensitive skin!)

Anyway, I called the doctor because the combination scared me and they ordered a urinalysis.  Then, they listened to his breathing and wanted to make sure he didn't have anything in his lungs so they ordered an X-ray followed by a blood count or something.  Poor baby had to get blood drawn from his arm.  So he had a really awful day of being sick already and then pocked and prodded with all these tests done.

His white blood cell count was really high so they put him on antibiotics but it turned out to be just a virus so we killed all his wonderful gut bacteria for nothing.  Oh well.  There's nothing we can do about that now.

I have been calling him Mr. McFeety and Sweety McFeety.  It came from Sweety-weety which turned into Wheets and then Wheety-wheets, and then anything that rhymes with that.  He's also Bud-Bud and A---- Bear or A-- Bear. He has sometimes been called Fatty McFatterson but that doesn't' really apply anymore.  Towards the end of the month he also got Meaty Meats.  Poor guy! It's amazing how something silly (saying, Sweety, sweety, sweety! to him when he was a couple of weeks old and upset) can turn into something so silly like a string of rhyming nicknames.

"Boo," is his third word after "Dada" and "Mama" or "Mom."  It means balloon and he says it with his lips closed so it almost sounds like "Boom" or "Bvvv"  He loves his balloons and is very emphatic about pointing and saying "Boo" when he sees them.  Towards the end of the month we walked into a Party City loaded with balloons and he was going off the wall pointing at them all and saying "Boo" so urgently.  I couldn't let him touch them--except for a few that were advertising a sale--and it was driving him nuts.  He was really going beserk with excitement and frustration.

Quote:

Bear: fussing

Me: Wanna go look at the balloons?

Bear: Boo?

Me: Let's go look at the balloons.

Bear: Boo.  Oh, oh! (Giggles)

After he figured out how to stand he started doing it a lot--but in dangerous places (at least at first) such as our friend's staircase or in his new, wooden high chair.  He's such a dare devil. "Boys and girls are so different.  Baby Bear likes to push the limit of what's safe and his sister is never quite sure she's safe enough.  Granted, this could just be the difference between my two kids.  Today, we found him standing up--no hands--in his wooden high chair.  He doesn't even like to stand by himself on the floor but if it's dangerous and pushing the limits, and it's something new, he's all over it.  "

He's been toying with his first steps.  He'll move from walking along one object to walking along another which requires one step in between.  He's done that a couple of times. THe first time I noticed it was on 7/13 when he moved from the couch to the ottoman.

He responds well to praise and clapping and often joins with smiles and his own claps.

He's been getting more discipline lately for things like throwing food and pulling hair.  Usually, just a time out for a minute.  He now recognizes the word "time-out."  When he does something he shouldn't we say, "No! No pulling!" or "No throwing food! Do you want a time-out?"  and he pouts or makes his "pity me" face (squints his eyes), and generally stops.  He still occasionally bites.  He doesn't usually bite skin on purpose but he bites everything else so sometimes when he's biting a shirt or pants, skin accidentally comes with it.  Also, he has the habit of occasionally biting a bit by accident when he latches on to nurse.

He's got some great dexterity and hand to eye coordination.  He likes his sister's boxes of flash cards and figured out how to open the boxes and pull them out.  He's also very good at problem solving when we're trying to keep something from him. 


He likes throwing himself on pillows and stuffed animals.

He points to things and says, "Uh?" when he wants to know what they are.  He points to things and says, "Uh!" when he wants them.

He noticed the sheep on his wall and pointed to them looking to have a conversation about them so I described them to him a little bit.

He seems to make himself feel better by throwing things when he's frustrated.  As I mentioned before, we're working on that.

By the end of the month he had about five words: "Dada," "Mama," "Boo (Baloon)"  "Dih-dih (doggy)," and "Adadadah! (adiós)"

He was 22 lbs at his year-old check-up.

He screams a lot when he realizes his limitations and boundaries.  He also screams when his sister comes near him or tries to play with him even when the situation doesn't warrant it.  He used to limit his screaming with her to times when she was too rough or when she hurt him by accident.  Now, he screams in anticipation of those things.  She still seems to see him as a dolly who she can make do what she wants him to do and he is starting to get irritated when she takes toys away or plays with something differently than he wants to, or tries to maneuver his hands for him.  Anyway, now when she comes near and he's doing something he really doesn't want interrupted, he looks at me and yells because he knows I'll rescue him.  Sometimes, I just tell him to deal because she isn't doing anything.  She still has to learn her boundaries, but her intentions are almost always sincere and kind, even though the end result often doesn't feel that way to him (or anyone else for that matter). 

He figured out how to climb up the school/coloring  end table just before we left for vacation.

He spent a couple hours one night vomiting about a week after his virus and round of antibiotics.  He didn't have a fever or anything so we were wondering if it was something he ate.  Zucchini? Kiwi?

He loves sticking his head in Daddy's shower and getting all wet.

"Dih Dih" is definitely dog.  He chased Ellie around calling her "Dih dih" and laughing.

He "sort of" took his first steps.  He walked 2-3 feet in a falling step from a desk to his friend A----a.

He likes to stand unassisted because his sister (and us) cheer for him when he does and then he congratulates himself by clapping and falling sitting down on his butt. 

He waves goodbye all by himself, sometimes it seems he understands when to do it without being told.  He's very intelligent in there even though he can't express himself verbally yet.

He's better now about not having tantrums when he doesn't get to eat our food at dinner.  He also loves to offer us his food--even when he's not done eating it.  I think it's because we're always feeding him and now he feels it's just something family does for one another.

He makes a silly fishy face all the time. He sucks his cheeks in and bites down on them as he plays.  It's adorable!

He says Adios and waves his hands when we say goodbye to the Spanish students.  It's more like "Alalalalah!" but close enough!

He loves his sister's little chairs so we were very excited when we found him his own at a yard sale for $2 or $3.  

He really loves carseats when they're not in the car.  (He doesn't really mind them in the car, either).  I think this goes along with the fact that he loves little seats.

He loves this outdoor storage unit that houses all the toys, chairs, chalk, etc.  He wants EVERYTHING that is inside and gets irritated when it's closed.  He spends a lot of time pointing at it and grunting for me to get him the stuff from inside, or hanging by it while it's opened and trying to get it himself--though he can't reach yet so that turns into grunting and pointing as well!

He LOVES baths.  LOVES THEM!

And he loves walks in the stroller.  He gets into this almost comatose daze when we drive him in the stroller and he's just letting himself be lulled into comfort by the gentle movement.  Sometimes I get worried when I look at him so I stop and talk to him to make sure he's okay and he looks at me like, "What? I was enjoying that?"  I still check on him, though.  It's so weird to see him so still.  He's never as still as he is when riding in the stroller when I take them on a walk. 

This was his first time (that I recall) playing in the Chick-Fil-A playground.  We took him there for his birthday dinner.  We sort of accidentally started that tradition with his sister--though when they're older they can choose where they want to go. 

He gave me my first "treasure" from him--this handful of rocks.  I still keep the biggest one in my wristlet.

Oh how he LOVES stuffed animals (and puppets).  We figured that one out right before his birthday. Sometimes it helps him to hold his koala during diaper changes. He HATES diaper changes.  It's like wrestling a snake to get a new diaper on him.  

He has yet to gain the stamina for long trips that his sister has.  He's okay for the first hour or so, then screams for a GOOD long while, then takes a nap for an hour or two.  Then we repeat the process.  The incidences of screaming increase, however, if we don't take good long breaks to eat or do something frivolous like walk around Wal-Mart. 

On the way to my friend's wedding, we stopped at the mall for over an hour.  Things like this happened and I let it go (though it's certainly not appropriate department store behavior) because the kids just needed to get their energy out. 

He met an old friend of ours and really enjoyed his beard!

He really likes eating bread.

He likes getting into things.

He likes sitting up on the fireplace.  It makes me think of how often his sister used to do that at his age and older.  

After Nina's wedding he was just beat! Poor baby! His schedule really got messed up that weekend. 

Getting into the mulch at the playground at Nina's rehearsal picnic.

Sitting to a meal at Nina's wedding with Daddy and really missing his Mama!

He likes playing hide-and-seek: hiding behind curtains, blankets, etc. 

Poor buddy.  His sister is always picking him up! Most of the time, he doesn't put up with it.  Sometimes, he allows it, though. 

A typical day with Daddy and Mommy. 

Nursing before nap.  The best ever.

My keys are his favorite toy this month.

We taught him how to color when the Spanish class kids were working on their masks.  He used the special crayons from his grandma.  He spent most of his time eating them, banging them, or dropping them, but he did do some of his own coloring with them too!

He's learning to use chalk.  He prefers to eat it.  He REALLY likes to eat it, but we're working on using it to color.  

When we go to our favorite grocery store, all the ladies there know my kids and say hi to them.  Now that my son is getting bigger, he can actually smile and flirt in response.  He likes the grocery store.  He goes around pointing and grunting at EVERYTHING when we're there now that he's older.

He drops stuff from his high chair on purpose and then grunts for you to come get it for him.  If you do, he'll drop it again and repeat the process.

He really wanted to touch his sister but his hands were so messy she wouldn't let her.

He enjoyed this tunnel at the library's summer reading program.  I taught Spanish classes there right after the program ended so we always caught the tail end of it.

Oh, the rain.  He LOVES the rain! He gets so frustrated when he can't go outside when it's nice out, and even more frustrated when it's raining.

He drinks best out of a water bottle with a straw.

He wanted to follow Daddy into the garage.  It's just so fascinating in there!

Playing in the sandbox with his sister and his buddies.

So frustrated about not getting what he wants!

His sister closes her door when she doesn't want him in there, mostly because there are things that are dangerous to him or that he can and will destroy in there.  He LOVES going in her room, though, and often waits for her out there or tries to get in when the door is open.  Often, he'll go speeding over to the open door and his sister will get there first and close the door.  This thing with him trying to get in and pulling at his sister's hand has happened a couple of times and is almost always accompanied by lots of giggles!

He is very good at putting things together and/or figuring out where they go. 

He loves playing outside.

Daddy's home!!!

He rarely just lays still to nurse.  It's always a wrestling match.  I usually just go with it rather than fight him. 

Actually allowed to play with the older ones for a bit.  They often banished him from their play.  In their defense, he is still quite destructive.  One day he'll be able to join them!

Eating with his sister and cousins. 

Curious about the tent that his sister and cousins are helping Daddy to erect in the yard. 

Nursing with his hand in my shirt, fiddling with the fabric is a must.

He was so proud of himself for fitting together this bucket with this lid. 

The face he makes here looks just like one his daddy made when he was a boy.

In his Sunday best.  He is so much fun to dress up.

He actually likes watermelon.  I'm so excited about this because he rejects a lot of fruits. 

Oh, the water.  He LOVES the water.  I let them play in this rain and the puddles.  Mostly, they played on the back patio, but I also took them to the edge of the driveway where I monitored them carefully as they played in puddles (while no cars were around our not-so-busy street).

He found one of his sister's dress-up necklaces and it was his favorite toy for awhile.

We discovered that we'd forgotten to give him this birthday present, so we gave it to him one random day when Dave was off work and we could both watch him enjoy it. 

He got his finger stuck in the straw hole of a cup at Chick-Fil-A.  His reaction to it cracked me up! The first picture is when it was stuck, the second is when he got it free.

He's not such a good sleep-snuggler.  As mentioned in previous posts, he likes to be with us, but he's supper wiggly and active when in bed with us, even when tired. 

He was so proud of himself for getting past the child locks in this cabinet and discovering the ziplock baggies.

He's not so good at sharing snuggles with his sister or being held when he wants to be free.

He really wants my watermelon slushie. 

We took a rest stop on our way to a weekend away at Uncle David's wedding and we just put the two of them in the cart with balls and drove them around Walmart for 20 minutes or so.  It gave him the respite he needed from the car so we could get back in and keep going. 

Wide awake at his grandparents house way before we wanted to get up. 

Just chillin' with his Uncle David the day before the wedding. 

The wedding was on his actual 13 month old date.  So the following pictures show him on that day: